Embrace the Unknown: Conquering the Fear of Giving Birth

“The Unknown” feels like it could be the title of a James Patterson novel. However, joking about the fear of giving birth doesn’t diminish its reality. Many of our clients worry about labor. The Unknown can feel both overwhelmingly vast and minutely small. Questions abound: How will labor start? When will your water break? Will you even know when it does? Are you going to tear? Will you heal okay? Will your baby look like you? All these concerns contribute to the fear of giving birth. So, how can you conquer this fear and prevent it from consuming your thoughts in the final weeks of pregnancy?

Take Control of What You Can

Start by managing what you can—like hiring a birth doula!

While I’m partly joking about hiring a doula, it’s true that we help women in labor feel more comfortable and less afraid. Working with a doula allows you to lean on their knowledge and experience, making you feel more prepared. Even if you don’t have a doula, educating yourself about your options is incredibly beneficial. Simple steps, like touring the hospital and checking the parking situation, can alleviate small worries. Each little concern you remove helps lessen the fear of giving birth.

Mentally Prepare for Different Scenarios

Once you’ve addressed some small worries, start mentally preparing for various scenarios. What does that look like? Well, it varies for everyone.

For some, conquering the fear of giving birth means thinking about it LESS. If exploring the Unknown feels overwhelming, don’t look! You have permission to stop absorbing information that heightens your fear. Instead, focus on a project—setting up the nursery, going for walks, or organizing closets. Distracting your mind with physical activities can ease anxiety.

Others feel safer knowing all possible outcomes. If you’re this type, surround yourself with stories. Countless birth blogs, videos, and books share experiences from various labors. Focus on scenarios that resonate with you. Listen to positive stories about c-sections if that’s a concern. I’m happy to share my experiences with inductions if it helps! Every type of birth can be positive and empowering. We love The Birth Hour podcast for uplifting birth stories. If you have a doula, ask them to walk you through a typical birth experience at your chosen location. For those without a doula, discuss your fears with your doctor or midwife at your next appointment. Knowledge can significantly reduce the fear of giving birth.

Practice Acceptance

The sooner you accept things beyond your control, the more effective that mindset will be throughout your journey. Accept the changes happening in your body. Know that your baby will be born one way or another, and your control is limited. Trust that you’ve managed what you can, and let go of rigid expectations about labor. Remember, every birth is different, even if you’ve had previous experiences.

Acceptance can be challenging and will ebb and flow during your pregnancy, labor, and postpartum journey.

Use Mantras for Support

Consider practicing a mantra to aid your acceptance. Here are a few favorites:

• “I accept that my body must grow and change as my baby grows.”
• “I surrender to the Unknown.”
• “The present is the only moment I can control.”
• “I let go and am present.”
• “I surrender to what is, and let love heal me.”
• “Breathe in calm. Breathe out fear.”
• “I can do this.”

Find a mantra that resonates with you and start using it. It’s never too late to embrace the journey and lessen the fear of giving birth.

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